Season 3 Dates Coming Soon

Hard at work preparing for Season 3 of The Rejection Show. Info coming soon...


Broken Mug

I broke a mug! It fell and the handle cracked off. Now it's in the garbage. One less mug to worry about. This reminded me of something I wrote two Christmas's ago. Here's an excerpt....Oh, Jon, you were so young back then....

I must preface this next section by saying the following gifts that I mention were all given to me by my parents…who I love.
I didn’t even know that Dunkin Donuts had gift certificates. Seems kind of a waste when the most expensive thing there is 55 cents. Have I been unaware of hinting about a love or need for donuts? I don’t think I’ve mentioned the word “donut” since 1989. At least now I can go there and get a lot of donuts for a long time. That’s one stress I don’t have to worry about for the New Year. Donuts are covered. I don’t really like donuts. What else does Dunkin Donuts have? Coffee? I enjoy coffee but I have a stomach disease and I really shouldn’t drink that much coffee— at least that would warrant getting me a gift certificate for it. Tea? Yeah, I guess I could get tea. The main problem with this gift is that I have to take the subway to even get to a Dunkin Donuts. I’m going to lose money in getting my “gift” tea. I already have my own running water, stove, teakettle, and tea bags. Does anybody want Dunkin Donuts gift certificates? I’ll trade them…for a hug.

The next gift I got was the game Twister. That’s fun. I do like that game. I guess. I also “like” a lot of things. I like carrots. I’m a 26 year-old aspiring writer and comedian who recently chose to begin going to therapy and start taking new intestinal medications. Twister was not on my list this year. I was almost surprised the card attached did not say, “Remember when you would have wanted to play this?” I immediately thought…Right foot “humiliating.” Left hand “dry heave.” Anybody want to play? Next year they should buy me the game “Sorry.”
Is there something about me, my personality, my appearance that cries “mugs!” At least four people bought me multiple mugs and that doesn’t include the people that got me individual mugs. Basically every other gift I got was a mug or variation of one. I live alone in a small apartment in Brooklyn. I already have three mugs. I had five and I gave two away last year because I simply did not have the room for them. I have nineteen mugs now. Does anybody need some mugs? To top it all off, my parents also gave me two mugs that say Twister on them. I do not lie.....

I was a bratty sad 26 year old bastard. I don't like that attitude. Shape up!


Who I look like?

People often tell me that I look familiar or that I remind them of someone else but they can't quite figure out who it is. More than a handful of times those people will run back up to me and say, "I know who it is! You remind me of my brother's friend!"

Now, everytime I get the look or the question --I say right away, "I remind you of your brother's friend." More than once the response has been "YES!"

But every so often I am greeted with an immediate match to a celebrity that "I look like." Here is the (all true) roster of celebrities I've been told I resemble or remind people of:

This is Jackson Browne. I was stopped in a store by a man who asked if he knew me. Then he said, "No wait, you look like Jackson Browne."

That's David Faustino. You may know him better from this...
I'm not very tall but I've got a good four inches on him.

That's Bernard Gilkey, former New York Met.

Sometimes the comparisons are flattering but then I remember that these types also had other roles like this...
I sort of had hair like that in 7th grade.

Again, flattering but I think they were leaning more towards this...
I have that shirt.

That one was not nice.

That one is weird.

There are some that insist on this one. It's Jeremy Piven. He can also look like this....
and so can I.

Oh, Spiderman? Cool, thanks.

Oh, from before that. Yes, right. Right.

And there are those that say I have a slightly Japanese quality to me.

Then there is this guy. Wait, that is me.




I am going to be missing this southern portion of the Stuckey and Murray tour due to the pending birth of my very first nephew.

He's not born yet.

Can't wait to meet him.

We will be touring again in the fall. This current tour is still going on but I won't be traveling.

You can see us all tonight at The Tank.

Stuckey and Murray's Family Reunion
The Tank
208 37th St. (b. 7th and 8th Ave.)
July 13th - 8pm



I'm a little teapot, short and stout
Here is my handle [one hand on hip], here is my spout [other arm out straight]
When I get all steamed up, hear me shout
Just tip me over and pour me out!
[as song ends, lean over and tip arm out like a spout]

I'm a clever teapot, yes it's true
Here's an example of what I can do
I can change my handle to my spout [switch arm positions and repeat tipping motion]
Just tip me over and pour me out

I'm an amazing teapot, can't you see?
I supply hot water for your tea!
Be careful when you pour me - I get real hot [light a match]
Especially doing this - you should not [put lit match in your hair]

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?