12/31/2004
Coffee & WNYC
12/29/2004
WNYC
12/20/2004
Wieners and I
P.S. They've already given me cookies.
Pressing Buttons
12/16/2004
Thanks Ya'll
12/13/2004
I WISH...
my name was, Jon Friedman (partially milled)
I DO IMPRESSIONS
Tom Hanks:
"You are a toyyyyyyyyy!"
Robert Deniro:
"I heard things."
Lindsay Lohan:
"Life can be so randomly beautiful."
TWO WORD MOVIE REVIEW: Ocean's 12
12/12/2004
CBS
12/10/2004
What came first, the chicken or the hat?
Older
World record application received, thank you
Thank you for registering your record attempt with Guinness World Records.
One of our representatives will contact you within the next 4-6 weeks with
a decision on your record request.
If your suggested record is approved, we will get back to you with rules
and regulations so that you may attempt your proposed record. If you have
already attempted a record, and we are interested in your submission, we
may ask for the documentation needed to verify the record.
Should your record proposal/attempt be unsuccessful, we will send you a
detailed reason outlining our decision and we will often suggest a
similar, existing record.
Our online tracking service enables you to track the progress of your
record claim through the Guinness World Records website. You will need
your membership number and password to access this service - these will be
sent to you once your claim has been assigned to a researcher.
Thank you for contacting Guinness World Records. Good luck!
Record Research Services,
Guinness World Records
12/09/2004
ElamenoTees in Chicagoist
From the Chicagoist Gift Guide
Hipsters are hard to clothe. It's a sad fact—everything you like we liked like, two years ago, snore, you fucking conformist lame-o. Go back to the Gap! But we can't live on cigarettes and PBR alone. No, we too need a new shirt now and then, and the more ironic, the better. Threadless still has some awesome shirts in stock (you snooze, you lose, biatch). Our pick is clearly the unicorns bumping uglies. That's priceless.
Don't forget the 80s movie shirt. Real Genius, Revenge of the Nerds, UHF, Strange Brew--these are all essential viewing for cool kids. There is nothing more hardcore than an Elsinore Beer shirt.
Still too obvious? Really go the distance with Elamenotees, so you can wear a joke that no one, even you, really gets. THAT is what coolness is, friends. Actually, we think these shirts are hiiilarious.
Fine, fine, fine, you want a more DIY approach without actually having to, you know, do it yourself. You can head over to the T-shirt Deli at 1739 North Damen to have your idea slapped on a shirt for all to see. It's not particularly cheap, but then, neither are you.
--ML
12/08/2004
Last Penguin & Swollen Head Ever.....in '04
New slides added to Swollen Head!
If you haven't seen the show you have no idea what I'm talking about. Well, you probably have some idea, like, you probably assume that the show has some sort of slides in it and now there are some new ones.
Penguin & Swollen Head for more info
From the Genetic Files - Andy Friedman and Amy Sohn @ BPC
Andy Friedman brings his new slideshow-poetry performance to THE BOWERY POETRY CLUB on MONDAY, DECEMBER 20 at 7PM.
Special guest, NY magazine “Mating” columnist and all-around superstar Amy Sohn will open the evening with a reading from her new novel “My Old Man” (Simon & Schuster). If you haven’t experienced an Amy Sohn reading this is a great time and place to do it. (www.amysohn.com)
After a successful tour of the Pacific Northwest and inland through Idaho and Montana with a seven-piece bluegrass band, Andy’s experiments with jazz accompaniment have given way to a rootsier, more countrified sound. The “Other Failures” lineup will include upright bass, resonator guitar, mandolin, fiddle and drum.
More info at City Salvage Records
12/07/2004
Watanabe
ME: Hi, is this Ken Watanabe?
ME: Wow, it's so great to speak to you.
ME: Yeah, yeah.
ME: Well, I just wanted to say that I thought you did a bag 'em up job in The Last Samurai.
ME: Yeah well, check this out, Ken....I never even actually saw it....sucker!
Hang up phone.
My adidas!
walk through concert doors
and roam all over coliseum floors
I stepped on stage, at Live Aid
All the people gave an applause that paid
And out of speakers I did speak
I wore my sneakers but I'm not a sneak...
Oh wait, that was Run DMC that wrote that, my bad.
12/06/2004
Forced Writing
Dear Lost and Found,
I lost a brown leather coat. It is brown and made out of leather. I wear jeans a lot. Do you know who I am? I’m usually wearing jeans. You may have seen me in jeans and a brown leather coat when I came in but not in that when I left. I have to admit something to you. I didn’t lose a brown leather coat. I lost a blue nylon coaches jacket. I figured that since I lost my jacket I might as well try to upgrade to another type of jacket. One that is more expensive and that could make me look both cooler and more jovial. Is jovial used correctly there? It’s not. I looked it up and the definition had a word in it that I didn’t know the meaning of. That word was "conviviality," which means full of feasting, drinking, good company and sociable. That’s what I am. I’m that already without the brown leather coat. Jovial means full of joy. When I used the word jovial I was trying to express that it would make me look more successful in a business sense. What I’ve learned from this is that I don’t need a brown leather coat to make me happy. I’m already happy with the kind of coat I have and it took losing it and trying to swindle my way into getting a better one to realize this. I didn’t even lose my coaches jacket. I just left it at home and didn’t realize I walked out without it. Is there even a lost and found at the post office? How’s your father?
Sincerely,
Jon
So what does that mean? Why did that come out? Sometimes I go back and read and I can see parallels to more serious events in my life. Who knew? Oh wait, I did.